Reality Show Buff Gifts

Before TV Reality Shows: 'Don't worry, it's not real blood...just ketchup.' 'And they're not eating raw sheep brain. It's just a green jello mold.'

"No, Simon, X is not that special something that Simon Cowell is looking for!"

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Backfire

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Bloody hell!"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Beware of the frog"

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Cat Hecklers

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'Sexy...I love what you're doing with your ears.'

Miami Mice

Pyjamas - Party, Sleep and Dawn Raid.