Reality Tv Buff Gifts

"Not a chance - you go try out for The New This Old House by yourself."

Alex Guarnaschelli

Piers Morgan.

Reality TV

"Whose idea was it to turn this into a reality show?"

"'Bake Off' is a lot more competitive this year."

"Now that's reality TV."

Heidi Klum

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

'Great news, Ma! Judge Judy, Judge Koch, Judge Lane Mills, Judge Brown and Judge Mathis are fighting over trying me on TV!'

John Toroda and Gregg Wallace

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat

'Welcome to 'Celebrity Animal Faking It', in which the king of the jungle will spend a week pretending to be a mischievous baboon...'

"I'm shopping my prison video around, but apparently if you don't shiv another inmate or become someone's bitch nobody's interested."

'And that's not all, everyone in the audience today is going home with a brand new Buick!!! Oh wait...That's next Tuesday.'

Paranormal

'Mom, Ben & I are breaking up for the third time...This is the reality TV age.'

The real Bush tucker trial.

Dear listeners, Some troubling news. I have learned a special prosecutor wants to know the source for my scoop that Mitch McConnell has a crush on Dr. Pimple Popper star Dr. Sandra Lee. I will tell you this – I will never reveal my source. I'd sooner go to jail, as scary as that would be to my friends and family. Guess who's in the dating market again! Bad girl.

"If that's 'Dancing with the Stars,' we only work as a group."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

American Idle.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Can't Touch This

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'