Showbiz Buff Gifts

Boarway Show

"Of course, now that my assistant has passed away this isn't nearly as exciting."

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

'I've not been myself lately'

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

'I love appearing on stage. My only regret is that I can't be in the audience to fully appreciate my work.'

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

Newspaper with a 'Paris Hilton' section.

"Treatment involves a red carpet and some flash photography."

"We call ourselves the 3 Geniuses. Unfortunately, we never quite caught on."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Showbiz Awards

Backfire

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Bloody hell!"

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Is there a vegan option?"

Cat Hecklers

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

Can't Touch This

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"Beware of the frog"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."