Celebrity Buff Gifts

Judi Dench

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Backfire

"Bloody hell!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

US v.s. Tech Giants

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Have you no common scents?!'

"Is there a vegan option?"

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Beware of the frog"

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Can't Touch This

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Cat Hecklers

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

Sheep In Curlers

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'