Showbiz Buff Prints

Boarway Show

"Of course, now that my assistant has passed away this isn't nearly as exciting."

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

'I love appearing on stage. My only regret is that I can't be in the audience to fully appreciate my work.'

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

Newspaper with a 'Paris Hilton' section.

"Treatment involves a red carpet and some flash photography."

Showbiz Awards

Backfire

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Bloody hell!"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Is there a vegan option?"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Cat Hecklers

"Beware of the frog"

Can't Touch This

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.