Quiz Show Buff Prints

And that's why I'm still single!

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

The Golfing Accident

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"And would you like flies with that?"

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Wedding disaster #27.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"