Quiz Show Enthusiast Gifts

BBC Scheduling Meeting, "The correct answer was no, we don't need another quiz show, so that's five points to the other team."

Alexander Armstrong.

Death on a gameshow: 'Oh, my...now contestant #3 has mysteriously dropped dead, so I guess that makes you, spectre of death, today's grand prize winner!'

"For one million dollars, what have I been talking about for the past ten minutes: the upcoming election, my mother, my job, or an article in the Home section about kitchen makeovers?"

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Quiz Dunce

"Orson Carter. Professional politician. Specialist subject - the art of lying from the year dot to the present day."

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

"Can I phone a Fisherman's Friend, Chris?"

'I've discovered a use for your invention - a TV show entitled 'Wheel of Fortune'.'

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'It's Chris Tarrant - do you know anything about Egytpian pottery?'

Never mind the Bartoks.

Who Wants To Audit A Millionaire.

'Interesting specialist subjects.'

'Where was I on the night of April tenth....Uhmmmm....Can I phone a friend?'

'This is a smart TV - it only switches on for Mastermind.'

Trees of Knowledge Quiz Show. Forrest. Woody. Think hard about this next question. You don't want to get stumped.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Before the Internet

Senior Jeopardy!

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Spot Quiz....

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Spot the fur ball.