Job Market Gifts

'We can't make any plans. By the time we grow up, there will be professions no one has ever dreamed of.'

'I can't keep up with technology either.'

Job machine - old jobs and new jobs.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Thats the kind of man we need here!'

'It's a new arrangement called a 'reverse salary', Pilpot. You pay us for the privilege of working here.'

When the trendy bottoms out.

'A recession is when your neighbour loses his job, a depression is when you lose your job.' - '...And a panic is when your wife loses her job.'

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

'No, we aren't hiring, we just need help.'

The Invisible Man

'Of course, Mr. Handley here is the one who does all the hiring and firing.'

'Don't get me wrong, I love children. I'm just not ready to hire them.'

'Think of this as an opportunity. All those great contests employees are ineligible to win...well, now you're eligible.'

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

Economics: Job Crisis

Up and ComersHas Beens.

'I thought you'd be a shoo-in since you got the interview through monster.com.'

"Get me a young fellah-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

'I need a hug. I was laid off at the fish factory.'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'Your job hasn't been DOWNSIZED.. it's been CAPSIZED.'

IF A MOO CAN RISE TO THE TOP, SO CAN I

'Well, another year, another dollar.' 'Yeah, as soon as one of us gets a job that pays that much.'

"If I don't get a bonus from my bank, I'll quit and flip burgers!"

'Since bottom line growth has been so robust, big business wants to thank you all in advance for not applying with them.'

'...It's all about jobs!'

Romney promises jobs.

'Sorry. . . no jobs for lo-technicians.'

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

"We pay the living dead wage."

"Look! Here comes a job offer!"

"I was just laid off from my job as head of my company's job security department."

"He's in training for the gig economy."

"Aren't you the guy who left my company to find a better job?"