Job Market Guru Gifts

Thankless jobs...always hiring!

"I've got an opening for a project manager in a corporation that will chew you up and spit you back out on the street in record time. Interested?"

'...but according to your DNA, you'd be much better at smelting.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

For sale

'You'll be starting out at the bottom.'

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."