Financial Crime Investigator Pillows

Fraud Squad

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Crisis'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

IRS Audit Section

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Bribery and Corruption.

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

Newton's Law and Order.

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'