Financial Fraud Detective T-Shirts

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

IRS Audit Section

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

Eurobonds Explained.

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

Dark money donor

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"Some of it is soft and some of it is hard, but the main thing is that all of it is money."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

Financial Corruption