Infidelity Investigator Pillows

"Come on, you're the store detective, is my husband having an affair with the checkout girl or not?"

Another Case of Domestic Violins.

'Are you sure there isn't anyone else, Julie?'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

Trickledown economics

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Horse meat scandal.

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"Don't worry, we'll never negotiate with the enemy."

Which One is Pulling Out?

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

Fake Counterfeit Money

Spying Smart TV

Surveys and economic interests

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"My dad was too much of a babe magnet for the marriage to have worked."

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

'I'll need four character references.'

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

'Now, I'm curious as to why there would be blonde hair in your hairball!'

"Your husband is fooling around."