Infidelity Intrigue Pillows

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!

'It's our wedding anniversary today, Pete, I bet my husband forgets all about it, again.'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"My dad was too much of a babe magnet for the marriage to have worked."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Trilby - 'Confession

"Damned if they do and damned if they don't? This is BRILLIANT work, everybody! Why didn't we think of this before?"

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

'We only stay together for the sake of the Holy Roman Empire.'

"Just tell us what we want to know, and you can sit in the comfortable chair."

'Right, how can I help you?'

"Your husband is fooling around."

"… and then Roger discovered fly fishing and I discovered Gregory."

In The Bastille

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

'Now, I'm curious as to why there would be blonde hair in your hairball!'

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

"When he stopped to smell the flowers, his wife found out whose flowers they were!"

"Your wife ran off with your best friend? Interesting... go with that."

"Guilty of something. I can just tell."

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

'I do still love you, Morton, but there's a subtext.'

"You might want to take this. It's your wife."

"I've never asked Ralph, but I think there's another woman."

"If you kept up with my blog, you'd understand."

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

'Tiptoe it by legal.'

Emotional Strongman

IRS Have Your Tax Explained Here.

"Please Mr. Ainsworth - He may talk!"