Tax Inspectors Gifts

"Me hate capital gains tax!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Flat tax - equal burden?

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Tax Collector

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'