Irs Inspector Gifts

'I'm with the I.R.S. you had better report this as income.'

'Yes, Mr Brown, I am aware that 'Tax' is Latin for 'estimate'. But you can't just guess at the numbers!'

'Thank you, Mr. Barnes. Your money will be a great comfort to us.'

'I can't tell him you're not here, nitwit, your silhouetted on the window!'

'I have nothing to hide.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Quality Control

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

IRS Audit Section

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

Tax Collector

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'