Irs Inquirer Gifts

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

You can relax now.

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Tax Collector

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

IRS. April 15th is the deadlie for filing your return, not a "best if used by" date.

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'