Irs Inquirer Pillows

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

You can relax now.

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

Tax Collector

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''