Irs Detective Gifts

Tax Attorney - 'All you can cheat $999.00'.

'A mad tea party scene? Was Alice a spy for the I.R.S.?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

Tax Collector

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Micro and Macro Department,

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?