Irs Agents Gifts

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'I realize you're a tax paying American citizen, but you cannot list the government as a dependent.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Expanded Limited Investigation

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Tax Collector

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?