Irs Clerk Gifts

'This is the third year in a row I'm being audited. Might this have something to do with the fact that I'm your ex-husband?'

'I'm afraid you can't list your unemployed husband as a dependent.'

'Your explanation for all these business dinners with my wife better be good!'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"Useless information"

Fragile stamper.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Tax Collector

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Cat and INOUT boxes.

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'