Irs Employee Gifts

I'd Rather Have The Short Tax Form.

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'You can't get blood from a turnip!'-'We'll never know till we try, now will we?'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

IRS - Our Holiday Message: "It's better to give than to deceive."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'We like to put the 'fun' in 'refund'!'

'If I had known he writes tax code for the IRS, I never would have asked him to fill out a comment card.'

To promote family values, I propose we establish a 'marriage-breakup tax!'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

"Robbing people just seemed like a natural progression... I used to work for the IRS!"

IRS 'IN' and 'OUT' trays

'That was devious and despicable... keep up the good work.'

"Remember me? I'm the guy you fired three years ago.. Guess where I'm working now!"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

IRS: 'I work here for Godsake, you can't audit me!'

IRS Gift Shop: All purchases deductible on next year's federal taxes.

'Hey! It's our tax dollars too!'

'Your contributions appear to be quite excessive.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'It was inevitable that sooner or later he'd be working here.'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."