Info Detective Gifts

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

Computer Expert

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Where was I?

Terry had a computer bug.

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

Alternative Medicine

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"Careful! He knows computers."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."