Tax Examiner Gifts

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Flat tax - equal burden?

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

IRS Audit Section

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

'Thank you for not guessing.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"Office of quality assurance"

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Examiners.

Tax Collector

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'