Claims Examiner Gifts

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Turkey Autopsy

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'Thank you for not guessing.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Examiners.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Office of quality assurance"

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

Turkey Autopsy

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

"Curiosity."

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

"Smart Arse"

Lambs to the Slaughter

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'Quit if you want, Bowman, but the intellectual property stays here.'

Cause of death: Just one of those things.

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'