Tax Auditor Gifts

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

Tax Auditor door sign / Out to get you ? back in one hour.

'Relax, I'm from the IRS. Death and taxes have merged.'

"Stockings and guns are allowed, but you can only claim a portion of your car. How often was it used to get away?"

'May I ask where you are taking me?

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'No, I wouldn't like a mint, and do you know what the penalty is for attempted bribery of a Federal agent?'

'I see here you're a professional writer. That explains the touch of whimsy in your return.'

'What a day. My girlfriend left me, and my dog died. My only consolation is that it can't get any worse!'

VAT "Don't worry about him he's just here to deal with late payers."

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

'Thank you, sir -- be sure to visit our website.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

Tax audit office.

"Oh dear, Mr. Kringle. I fear we may have to put you on our naughty list."

'He says you'll remember him from High-School where you once referred to him as an idiot.'

'You have a pleasant and honest face, Mrs. Jones, and it makes me wonder what you're up to.'

'Mr. Grubb? It's about your benefit claim.'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

Mistake with the IRS.

'I'm faced with a dilemma. I've got to audit your tax return.'

"Where's my bouncer when I need him?"

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

'Thank you for coming in, sir -- you may now pick up the pieces and get on with your life.'

'Our system is really very simple, sir -- we mail out refund checks when we're damn good and ready.'

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'Unlike a baker's dozen, you can't earn thirteen dollars of income and report it as earning twelve'

Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.

'That was devious and despicable... keep up the good work.'

'The Inquisition is down the hall - this is Tax Audits.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Just gifts?... No salary, tips, or business income at all.'

'Whenever the Government proposes a new source of revenue, it always turns out to be me!'