Tax Auditor Gifts

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

Tax Auditor door sign / Out to get you ? back in one hour.

'Relax, I'm from the IRS. Death and taxes have merged.'

"Stockings and guns are allowed, but you can only claim a portion of your car. How often was it used to get away?"

'May I ask where you are taking me?

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'I see here you're a professional writer. That explains the touch of whimsy in your return.'

'No, I wouldn't like a mint, and do you know what the penalty is for attempted bribery of a Federal agent?'

'What a day. My girlfriend left me, and my dog died. My only consolation is that it can't get any worse!'

VAT "Don't worry about him he's just here to deal with late payers."

'Thank you, sir -- be sure to visit our website.'

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

"Oh dear, Mr. Kringle. I fear we may have to put you on our naughty list."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

Tax audit office.

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

'He says you'll remember him from High-School where you once referred to him as an idiot.'

'You have a pleasant and honest face, Mrs. Jones, and it makes me wonder what you're up to.'

'That was devious and despicable... keep up the good work.'

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'Mr. Grubb? It's about your benefit claim.'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

"Where's my bouncer when I need him?"

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

'I'm faced with a dilemma. I've got to audit your tax return.'

Mistake with the IRS.

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'Thank you for coming in, sir -- you may now pick up the pieces and get on with your life.'

'It's a discouraging word from the IRS.'

'Just gifts?... No salary, tips, or business income at all.'

'The Inquisition is down the hall - this is Tax Audits.'

'Our system is really very simple, sir -- we mail out refund checks when we're damn good and ready.'

'Unlike a baker's dozen, you can't earn thirteen dollars of income and report it as earning twelve'

'Whenever the Government proposes a new source of revenue, it always turns out to be me!'

Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.