Traffic Ticketeer Gifts

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

"Is there a problem officer?"

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Need tickets.

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

Solar Storm Expected!

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

I've stopped you so often I've decided to give you a season ticket!

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.