Traffic Ticketeer T-Shirts

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"Is there a problem officer?"

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Need tickets.

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

Solar Storm Expected!

I've stopped you so often I've decided to give you a season ticket!

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'