Traffic Ticket Tactician T-Shirts

"I'd just like to say that whenever I've needed a policeman I've been able to find one."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Is there a problem officer?"

'I move we go on record for fewer imports here and more imports there!'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

"It's written in invisible ink."

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

I've stopped you so often I've decided to give you a season ticket!

The bus home.

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

Wi-Fi password?

"Do you know why I stopped you, sir?"

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

Driver under frustration - no parking, speed humps, speed cameras and petrol price signs.

Boat towing dinghy, balloon towing small balloon.

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

"Tariff wars"

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."