Ticket Timing Tactician T-Shirts

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golf lessons

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

'Safe!'

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

Colin had finished the 'One Minute Manager' and was now practising the 3467 minute tea break.

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"

The bus home.

New Belief Systems

"I can't remember - do I work at home or do I live at work?"

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

father and son

'I was there the day we were married. Talk about bad timing.'

Coo coo clocks make a cats job easier.

"Last year, my whole family went on a trip. It started on a Tuesday, and ended just in the nick of time."

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

Driver under frustration - no parking, speed humps, speed cameras and petrol price signs.

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."