Ticket Agent Gifts

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'You mean I only have to say where I'm going and you give me a ticket?'

'It doesn't stop there now.'

'We accept payment by cash, card or an arm and a leg.'

Train Ticket Robbery

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

Virgin Trains - "Don't they go all the way then?"

'And here's a ticket for speeding in the parking lot.'

'Patience, patience, I'm sure it's in here somewhere...'

Ticket Agencies...

"How much!!!?!"

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"First class, or with children?"

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

'What zip code are we in now?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

World Tour.

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'Now that's an afro!'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Sparkling Water

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."