Ticket Reseller Gifts

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Need tickets.

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

Solar Storm Expected!

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

'We accept payment by cash, card or an arm and a leg.'

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"I know it's yesterday's ticket! - That's when I got on this bloody train!"

'Doing a degree? No, I'm trying to book a train ticket.'

Ticket Trout

"I knew this was coming when they introduced computer-generated ticket sales."