Ticket Scalper Gifts

'Yo, my man! Check it out! Great seats next to the queen!!'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Need tickets.

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

Solar Storm Expected!

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.