Ticket Scalper Pillows

'Yo, my man! Check it out! Great seats next to the queen!!'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Need tickets.

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

Solar Storm Expected!

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."