Ticket Collectors Gifts

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

Solar Storm Expected!

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

I've stopped you so often I've decided to give you a season ticket!

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

Don't jump! You haven't paid your five bucks for the office lottery pool yet!

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"