Ticket Stub Collector Gifts

"...All I know is someone called 911 and said you were robbing people."

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'Oh no a speed camera.'

They were long past their canine pasts, but the rare stamp brought out the beast in them.

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

'Good news, Perkins! We're finally getting an automatic postage machine!'

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

'It's a project to develop a stamp mucilage that tastes like beef stew.. it's funded by Andy Rooney.'

Hieroglyph stamps.

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."