Sports Ticket Collector Gifts

"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

I've stopped you so often I've decided to give you a season ticket!

Solar Storm Expected!

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

Don't jump! You haven't paid your five bucks for the office lottery pool yet!

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."