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"Okay, forget the cookies. How about tickets? I've got a couple of good seats for sale to the Rangers' game."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

I've stopped you so often I've decided to give you a season ticket!

Solar Storm Expected!

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

Don't jump! You haven't paid your five bucks for the office lottery pool yet!

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.