Lottery Ticket Collector Gifts

Don't jump! You haven't paid your five bucks for the office lottery pool yet!

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

Why do you hate the media?

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

Highlights for Adults

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

"It's lotto fever."

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'