Lottery Ticket Collector Mugs

Don't jump! You haven't paid your five bucks for the office lottery pool yet!

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Bribes for Jabs

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

Why do you hate the media?

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

Highlights for Adults

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It's lotto fever."

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Happy Meals for Grown Ups