Ticket Master Gifts

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Need tickets.

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

Solar Storm Expected!

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

'We accept payment by cash, card or an arm and a leg.'

"I know it's yesterday's ticket! - That's when I got on this bloody train!"