Ticket Tamer Gifts

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Multi-tasking.

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Busy office.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

Need an elevated state of mind too!

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

"Just put that in my, 'I'll get to it when I can, I'm only human' pile."

Monday around 9PM.

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

Parenting Business Deals

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'I'd say you're a little late...'

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

Overwhelmed by Paperwork

'I'd like the short form instead...'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

"My schedule is just nuts."

'You have appointments lined up right until you leave for vacation in 2008.'

Tax grab.

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

If I move Jen's ortho to Friday, it conflicts with Sam's clarinet, but I can't move that to Monday because Tina has soccer! Ugh, how do I line this thing up? Rubik's Calendar.