Tax Tamer Gifts

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

Paye...vat...tax.

Tax rebate!

'Thank you, sir -- be sure to visit our website.'

'Sparby, I want you to go and taser everyone in the accounting department.'

The Man Who Never Had a Tax Mix-Up, Bungle, or Situation.

'I've been paying taxes for 63 years, and I still don't have the hang of it.'

"Let me see you look me in the eye and deduct that?"

Man's self-assessment form says: 'I'm screwed.'

"Can they tell I cheated on my taxes?"

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

"The over-commercialization never stops."

"Oh, you haven't done anything wrong as far as we know - This is just a PREEMPTIVE audit."

"You overpaid by eight dollars and three cents -- Are you attempting to BRIBE me?"

'Sorry, folks, but your tax cut was eaten up by attorneys' fees.'

'I'd like the short form instead...'

'I'm giving you the maximum punishment...I'm letting you go free to worry about taxes, inflation and everything else, just like the rest of us.'

Tax grab.

He keeps us humble.

Dangerous tax audits.

Internal Revenue Central Office.

'The 'legal privilege' ruling is a kick in the teeth for tax accountants but FANTASTIC for US!'

'It's finally happened -- the Government is costing me more than you are!'

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

No, you can't plead insanity!

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Multi-tasking.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!