Tick Tamer Gifts

"There is an easier way to ensure that our pet doesn't get fleas or ticks."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Multi-tasking.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Need an elevated state of mind too!

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

New Swiss Army Knife

"Just put that in my, 'I'll get to it when I can, I'm only human' pile."

Parenting Business Deals

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

Education Guidance

Dentist Training School.

"Most projects require three hands."

Overwhelmed by Paperwork

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

'I'd like the short form instead...'

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.