Termite Tamer Gifts

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

"Lovely dovetail."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Parenting Business Deals

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Dentist Training School.

Education Guidance

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission.'

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

"Sealed for your diets protection."

Superhero training.

"My turn."

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"