Termite Tamer Gifts

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

Not you. Your hair.

"Lovely dovetail."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Parenting Business Deals

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

Dentist Training School.

Education Guidance

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.

'Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."