Garden Tamer Gifts

"Spray me.""Trim me.""Prune me.""Mow me.""Weed me.""Fix me.""Paint me."

"I lost control of the mower and composted most of your garden."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Lovely dovetail."

Burnt or Raw?

"You like yours well done, right?"

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

New Swiss Army Knife

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

Parenting Business Deals

'Bar-B-Q lit yet?'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Getting Rid of the Cure

Education Guidance

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Beware of the Undergrowth.

"Most projects require three hands."

I bake my own bread

Golf Hil Divot

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

'He micromanages all our trades.'

Athens wildfires

'Where's your goldfish?'

Recycling point.