Garden Tamer Pillows

"Spray me.""Trim me.""Prune me.""Mow me.""Weed me.""Fix me.""Paint me."

"I lost control of the mower and composted most of your garden."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Burnt or Raw?

"Lovely dovetail."

"You like yours well done, right?"

Not you. Your hair.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

New Swiss Army Knife

Parenting Business Deals

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

'Bar-B-Q lit yet?'

Education Guidance

Getting Rid of the Cure

Beware of the Undergrowth.

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

"Most projects require three hands."

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

Golf Hil Divot

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

I bake my own bread

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

'Where's your goldfish?'

'He micromanages all our trades.'