Nature Tamer Pillows

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Group of explorers with a lawn mower.

Getting Rid of the Cure

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"Lovely dovetail."

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Education Guidance

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'OK, Connor. Tell me about this big, scary monster that you feel is under your bed at night.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"I replaced my G.P.S with auto correct, and every time I try to go right, it makes me go write...."

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

'This isn't working at ALL... maybe I should just forget the marriage counsellor scene!'

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

Computer Time Bomb.

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

"My turn."

'He micromanages all our trades.'

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"Because we're jerks."

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

"I'm so relieved to have ended up down here rather than up there, I can't stand heights!"

"All my devices are in there fighting over dominance again. I'm waiting out here until they're finished. It gets on my nerves."

"That may not be the best option for printing out your novel."