Grass Tamer Pillows

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Education Guidance

Beware of the Undergrowth.

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Getting Rid of the Cure

'I'd like the short form instead...'

Golf Hil Divot

Tax grab.

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

"Can they tell I cheated on my taxes?"

Menace.

'He micromanages all our trades.'

'I've been paying taxes for 63 years, and I still don't have the hang of it.'

Recycling point.

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

He keeps us humble.

Dangerous tax audits.

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

Toupee.

Man's self-assessment form says: 'I'm screwed.'