Grass Tamer T-Shirts

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Lovely dovetail."

Not you. Your hair.

Education Guidance

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Getting Rid of the Cure

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

'I'd like the short form instead...'

Tax grab.

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

Golf Hil Divot

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

'He micromanages all our trades.'

Menace.

"Can they tell I cheated on my taxes?"

'I've been paying taxes for 63 years, and I still don't have the hang of it.'

Recycling point.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

Dangerous tax audits.

He keeps us humble.

"Spray me.""Trim me.""Prune me.""Mow me.""Weed me.""Fix me.""Paint me."