Tick-tackler Gifts

Farmer to son: 'For heaven's sake Jeb! Get Bessie out of that tall grass now! Can't you see she's full of ticks?!'

Concert Pianist.

Piano Recital

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"Careful Hank, this one still has some fight in him."

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

Paddling upstream to save a $1.79 lure snagged on a log.

Lyme Disease Research Lab

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

Keyboard player

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'That's a bit better. Persistence pays off - although, not as well as it did when I was your age.'

Where baby grand pianos come from.

'George, I know it's your favorite lure, give it up.'

'The main reason I took up the piano was, it's the only musical instrument that gives you a place to set your wine.'

"There is an easier way to ensure that our pet doesn't get fleas or ticks."

Beware of Watchdog.

Fined Dining

Emmanuel Ax

'I found out what makes him tick - he'd swallowed a watch!'

Dear Bertha - I'd write more often, but I always seem to be out of ink! Love, Oggy

Predatory Pianos.

Concert pianist on his way to work.

"I am trying to keep it low key."

"Eww! A tick!"

"Clarence really knew how to tickle the ivories."

'Piano Player'

"O.K., I'm going to demonstrate the proper way to lie to me about flossing."

'No-one can avoid cuts!'

Piano Shop.

The Game Man: And Trying Imitations which look nothing like the real ones.